How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers
How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers
Let’s face it—work is stressful enough without adding interpersonal tension to the mix. Yet almost everyone encounters a difficult coworker at some point in their career. Whether it’s someone who constantly criticizes, avoids responsibility, gossips, or simply has a negative attitude, dealing with challenging colleagues can take a serious toll on your mental health. The good news? You don’t have to let it derail your day—or your well-being.
Step 1: Get Clear on the Impact
Start by asking yourself: What exactly about this person is bothering me? Try to separate their behaviors from your emotional reaction. Instead of saying, “They make me feel small,” reframe it as, “They interrupt me in meetings, and I feel dismissed.” This small shift helps you respond based on facts, not just feelings, and gives you clarity about the specific issue at hand.
Step 2: Don’t Take It Personally
This might sound easier said than done, but difficult behavior is often more about the person doing it than the person receiving it. People bring their own insecurities, stress, and personal struggles into the workplace. When someone lashes out, it’s often a reflection of what’s happening within them—not a commentary on your worth.
One helpful question to ask yourself is: Would a calm, healthy person act this way? Likely not. That perspective alone can diffuse a lot of the tension.
Step 3: Set Boundaries (Kindly But Firmly)
Boundaries are key to preserving your emotional energy. If a coworker is constantly dumping their work on you, gossiping, or overstepping, you have a right to say something. Use clear, respectful language. For example:
- “I’m not able to take that on right now, but I can help you prioritize.”
- “I prefer not to discuss coworkers when they’re not here.”
- “Let’s stay focused on the project.”
You don’t need to justify your boundaries. You just need to uphold them consistently.
Step 4: Regulate Your Own Emotions
Difficult people can trigger strong emotional responses. Before reacting, pause and breathe. Use grounding techniques: feel your feet on the floor, take a slow breath in and out, or count to ten. These tools help engage your rational brain and reduce the chance of saying something you’ll regret.
Consider journaling or talking to a therapist to process lingering frustration. Suppressing feelings often leads to burnout or emotional outbursts later.
Step 5: Know When to Escalate
If you’ve tried to set boundaries and the behavior continues—or crosses into harassment—it may be time to involve a supervisor or HR. Your mental health and safety are important. Document interactions if needed, and advocate for yourself with support.
Final Thoughts
You can’t always control who you work with, but you can control how you respond. With self-awareness, strong boundaries, and emotional regulation, you can protect your peace and maintain your professionalism—even in the face of difficult coworkers.
If you find yourself constantly stressed or anxious about work relationships, therapy can help you build coping skills and confidence in managing conflict. You deserve a workplace that supports your well-being.
This post was written by New Hope Counseling.
If you’re interested in setting up an appointment with one of our Licensed Therapists, contact us at 502-712-9604.
